Moving on Through Life

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                                                                                                                                           life is good

      My daughter is “graduating” from elementary school.   Her feelings are bittersweet.  She loves her school and has had a wonderful experience, but she is excited to be moving on to middle school.    She stated hopefully middle and high school won’t go too fast so I don’t have to attend so many graduations.  My thoughts were more along the line of not having to see her grow up too fast.

     Like most parents, some of the deepest conversations happen in the car.  For only being 11 years old, she is able to comprehend the meaning of many topics I discuss with her.  The main point stressed in this recent talk was to enjoy the stage you find yourself living at the moment.  Being young is great.  It is fun, exciting, and full of energy, but life doesn’t stop at a certain age.  I have known people well into their 80’s, even 90’s that were still having a great time.

      There are bumps along the way.  There are challenges that are sad and/or difficult.  There will be periods of uncertainty, confusion, and disbelief.  The key is to keep looking forward and find a way to change what is not working.  To work towards increasing the comfort and happiness in living a good life.  To surround ourselves with people who are good for us, and constantly take a chance of trying something new.

     My daughter is 11.  I don’t expect her to understand all the challenges and experiences that lie before her, but I do want her to know that change isn’t a bad thing.  People waste too much time worrying and fretting about getting older.  There is nothing any of us can do about it, so live the age you are now.  To everyone who is moving on, remember the past, enjoy the present, and look to the future with an eager and happy heart.  You only go around once.

Supermarket Pet Peeves

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grand union

     I spend a considerable amount of time in supermarkets.   Part of the reason is that I shop for different items in different stores.  The other part is I there is always something I need, forgot, or have to get before a sale is over.   There are times when I have actually forgotten an item I wrote down on a list.  Other times I didn’t get the main product I went out for in the first place.  Despite these issues, or maybe because of them, I have noticed certain problems in most stores.  They might not bother everyone, but to me, and others I often find myself helping, they are always present.  Move over Letterman…here are my top five.

5.   Narrow aisles.    I don’t understand why the aisles aren’t wide enough to let carts go by in different directions without crashing into each other.  How many times do you have to say “excuse me” or “sorry” when cruising down these rows.  During busy times, this can be a cause of indoor road rage.

4.   Items placed too high.  I am 5’4’ tall.  Ok, maybe a little less.  I cannot always reach the items placed high on a shelf.  It gets worse when they stack the items on top of each other.  My choice is to stand on the bottom shelf, or find a way to knock down a box without the whole shelf coming down.  The dairy section is trickier since milk, juice, etc. are placed on racks.  Once the first two are taken, the others are so far back I can’t reach.  It has been documented that stores place the pricier items at eye level.  My looking up, and down, taught me that trick long ago.

3.  Looking like a department store.    In rural areas I can understand the need to carry products besides your typical groceries.  For those of us who have access to the mall, as well as department and big box stores, we don’t need row and rows of items we can get somewhere else.  How many people purchase those items in the supermarket?  The space could be used more efficiently.  See number 1.

2.  Reading the small print.   I love those little tabs they place near a sale item.  The print has a font size in the negative numbers.   Not only do you have to make sure of the date, but only a certain size may be on sale, and the tab might not be directly under the product.  If the item comes in a variety of flavors….watch out.   Whole wheat may be on sale, but not whole grain whole wheat.  Chunky peanut butter, but not smooth.  100 oz. bottle of detergent, but not the one that is fragrance free.   Why does it have to be so confusing?

1.  Wet produce.   This is the one that irks me the most.  A simple lesson in biology is required here.  Once a plant is picked and separated from its root system, it does not absorb water.  I can’t stand wet lettuce and parsley.  It is drenched, you can’t get it in the bag, and it disintegrates into a mess within days.  I also can’t stand the bags of wet carrots.  I stopped buying the baby ones because they are too slimy.  Even the whole ones are wet at times.  I can’t count the number of times those automatic sprayers have gone on when my arm in fully extended under them.  Please, I don’t need a shower.

     Every now and then, I see the district managers walking around with store management pointing out this and that.  I wonder what they are looking at.  I wonder what study or plan they have developed to make shopping better.  I have an idea or two (or five) for them.  Maybe they should actually talk to the “average” shopper.  Oh well, I’ll be back in their stores soon enough.  Probably tomorrow.  As they always say, Have a Nice Day!

The Main Purpose of a 911 Call

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911 circle

     The State of Connecticut’s Freedom of Information commission has ordered the town of Newtown to release the 911 calls they received on the day of the Sandy Hook Elementary School shootings.  The purpose of obtaining these calls is to decide if their content should be made available to the public.  There has been opposition by the families of the victims and their supporters, for this material to be accessible to anyone seeking a request.  Included in this concern are photos depicting the scene after the tragedy.   For years now, 911 calls and crime scene photos have made their way into mainstream media and the internet.  We are taught to call 911 only when there is a true emergency to report.  Dispatchers then notify the appropriate personnel to the scene. The purpose of the call is to alert police, fire, and medical responders, not for the media, print, or internet reporting.

     As the years have gone by, more and more of these calls have been played on network news and talk shows.  The fear, anxiety, and sense of helplessness often is heard as the individual at the end of the phone line is reaching out for assistance.   One is often left to wonder what purpose is gained by hearing these voices in distress.   Does it help in any way?  Does it make us understand the trauma those individuals suffered?  Do seeing pictures of victims give us, the public, any more information?  There are reports that some of the first responders at the scene of the shooting are suffering from mental stress.  What benefit will they, the families, and the public obtain from seeing the images or hearing those cries for help.  This is not one  of the many nightly dramas that opens each episode with a horrific crime scene.  What happened is real, with real people, affecting real lives.  The effects don’t end in an hour, but are everlasting.

     We as a public are not privy to everything.  We abide by doctor-patient confidentiality.  Clergy do not have to report information shared from a member of their congregation.   The names and pictures of juveniles are not reported in regards to a variety of issues.  The identity of abuse victims are not revealed in the press or other media.   The media themselves are protected from exposing sources in the reporting of a story.

     Does this really have to be debated?  Do the families, already dealing with an impossible amount of grief, have to spend time fighting to have calls and photos blocked?   What are we possibly going to find out that we already don’t know?   It doesn’t change what happened.   The images that remain with us should be the smiling faces of the beautiful, innocent children and the 6 caring adults who lost their life on that day.   The information in those calls and in those pictures should be restricted to law enforcement and the courts.   The victims and their families have rights too, and their rights should be respected.  May they be granted the peace they deserve.

Update:  The state legislature has voted to keep the materials sealed from the public.  This is a great victory for the families and the rest of society.

Remembering Our America

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     This weekend, the nation celebrates Memorial Day.  Picnics and parades will commence in numerous towns and cities across America.  This year the feeling is especially poignant given the number of human tragedies and natural disasters which have occurred.  It has been a never-ending series of events causing pain and disbelief.  We are a nation stuck in a mode of constant healing, and are wondering if there will ever be a period of calm and peace again.  Storms, bombings, shootings, bullying, and economic depression have left us praying for those suffering loss and heartache.  In the midst of all the chaos, comes a holiday when we honor those who have served our country.  A country whose values they held close to their heart in hope of preserving our democracy and freedom.

     My mother’s uncles served in both world wars.  Uncle Mike served in WWI. He was given special honors for his bravery.   Experiencing happenings so horrific, he actually tried to get himself shot in the leg near the end so that he could go home.  Uncle Tony served in WWII.  He joked that he only won the lottery once in his life.  Surprisingly when he went to claim, there were thousands of other winners.  Not a day went by when he didn’t have some story related to the war.  A good, kind man, the effects were deep and lasting.  Although parades were held in the large cities, soldiers returning to small towns and rural areas simply went home to the relief of their loved ones.  Somehow their lives went on, but the experience lived with them forever.

     On Monday, when people gather to celebrate in backyards, parks, and on Main Street, let’s remember our America.  It remains country of enduring hope, support, and thoughts of the future.  A country where people offer support to those in need and those capable of evil will never be tolerated.  Areas of destruction will be rebuilt, and those lost will never be forgotten.  The veterans, who served so proudly and sacrificed so much, deserve our praise for reminding us what it means to be an American, and for being the definition of love of country.   God bless America.

 

The Class of ’43 Goes to the Prom

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     Almost every night, at 10:00 P.M., I watch the news.  Sometimes I wonder why I do this because the headlines for the most part are filled with terrible news.  Shootings, robberies, break-ins, fires, hit and runs make up the top stories of the night.  Next come stories of political fallouts or weather disasters.  But one night this week, a story early in the broadcast was of a different sort.

      Every year, thousands of high school seniors prepare to go to their prom.  There is another group of seniors also planning to attend the prom this year,  the Hillhouse High school Class of 1943 in New Haven, CT.   Deferred due to the war, this class never had the experience of attending the annual school dance.  A group got together and decided after 70 years, the time had come to celebrate the rite of passage.

     I loved this story.  It was heartwarming, touching, and humorous.  It brought out an understanding that no matter how many years pass, how many experiences we have, how much happiness or sorrow we experience, we remain young at heart.  Wouldn’t it be great if the news was like this every night.  Enjoy.



Life on a 2 inch Screen

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recording     In my last post, I described my visit to Disney World.   One of the points I didn’t mentioned was before every show, an announcement was made that no recording or flash photography could take place during the performance.  It was music to my ears.  It seems in the past few years, everyone is recording every event that occurs in their lives.  This all started with the invention of the video camera.  Now with cell phones, iPads, YouTube and other social media, the world has become one giant movie.

     We waited for the parade in the Magic Kingdom one afternoon during our trip.  People were polite and courteous while standing along the road.  When the parade reached our area, a women standing next to me kept sticking her elbow in my side.  She had her iPad up in the air in order to record the whole parade.  In my passive aggressive way I refused to move over.  I’m sure she didn’t appreciate the clapping and calling out  of the names of characters as they went by, but I didn’t care.  I was enjoying the moment with my kids and wasn’t going to stifle my fun for someone documenting their entire day.

     Before we had kids, and had two incomes, my husband and I went on a cruise to Alaska.  The only way to get from location to location is by boat or air since the state does not have many roads of connection.  We noticed that while the boat was moving, the crowds were nowhere to be seen.  It was us and about 12 other people wearing parkas observing the wonderful landscape.  When the boat stopped, the people came out of the casino, the pools, and the food and play areas, and took sudden interest in the sites.  At the time video cameras were the means of recording, and they came out in force.  Tripods were set up, people jockeyed for the best position, and it was taped for remembrance.  When the show was over, the people disappeared.  My husband commented that that those people were experiencing Alaska through a 2 inch screen.

     I often wonder what children think when their parents tell them what to do for the camera.  Many times they want a reenactment of something a child did spontaneously. They tell them not only what to do or say, but how to do it.  Most kids I know don’t repeat what you want them to do when asked.  This causes many parents to become exasperated because they can’t capture that precious moment.  Maybe these kids are onto something.  I remember a movie called Truman starring Jim Carrey.  Unbeknownst to Truman, his whole life was being monitored, and a live feed was blasted across televisions nationwide.  Everything around him was set-up to provide the drama.  People, buildings, and events, were planned to create a kind of documentary reality show.  When Truman found out, he walked out and said goodbye.

     I have a video camera.  I film my kids a few times a year.  Most of it takes place the backyard, or the house of mine and other family members.  I don’t feel like I can fully experience what is going on around me if I have to keep focus through a screen.  So much time during the total happening is lost.  I know I am old school, but I prefer still photography.  There is something captured in a moment that I find quite satisfying.  A facial expression, the time of day, the surroundings, the people grouped together, the memory of time and place.  It is nice to have some photos and videos as remembrance, but the best movie of all is the one that plays out in our heads.  The memories we hold of loved ones, events, and life in general.  My grandmother said it best.  Once at a wedding, she couldn’t get over the number of photos that were being taken.  She commented…”All these pictures.  You only need one.”  How right she was.

I Went to Disney World!

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mickey at the castle

     A few weeks ago, during the April school break, my family went to Disney World.   Many families we know have already been, some multiple times.   For us the timing never seemed to be right, and we wanted to wait until both of our girls were old enough to handle the whole experience.  This year the schedules lined up, and we went.  I have never been before and didn’t really know what to expect.  I now understand why they call it the happiest place on earth.

   I booked the plane tickets last summer.  Flying out of the northeast during spring break made this essential.  We decided not to stay in the park.  I know, I know….people say this is a mistake but we had our reasons.  First, my youngest daughter has an internal alarm clock which wakes her up at 6 A.M. no matter how late she stays up the night before.  I knew there was no way we would be up until 10:30 to see fireworks.  Second, the cost of the trip drops significantly by staying outside the park.  I got a great deal through Costco for lodging, tickets to the park, and a car.  We had a 2 bath, 2 bedroom timeshare, with a kitchen, laundry, pools, and other activities.  We were close to the parks, but came home every day to peace and quiet.

     I didn’t plan for the entire year as so many say you have to do.  We decided what we definitely wanted to do, and what we could skip, but I didn’t have an itinerary for every minute. We also decided we could live without character meals and princess spas.  My days of be anxious and worried are over.  We didn’t find it hard to get around, or have the time to do what we wanted.  I think you actually have more fun if you aren’t so worked up about where you need to be. I am also glad that my kids were not so young as to become overly tired, and overwhelmed with the crowd, the volume at the shows, the walking, and the heat.

    We went to the parks 4 days.  We went once to Hollywood Studios, twice to the Magic Kingdom, and once to Animal Kingdom.  We decided Epcot will be visited on a future trip. Going to Disney provides a great opportunity for observing human behavior.  They have crowd control down to a science. Parking lots are not filled with people trying to find the nearest spot.  You drive in and they have you park in an orderly manner.  No choice, no stopping, pull in, get out, and walk to the tram.  Lines for rides and shows have wait times posted.  If you decide to wait, you walk along the maze.  The fact that it keeps moving makes you feel like you are getting somewhere which eliminates the frustration many feel in traffic jams.  The staff is friendly and helpful.  Everyone is smiling which is infectious.  Imagine having pleasant conversations with strangers all day.  Imagine how society could benefit from that.

     The rides are what most people talk about, but the exhibits, shows, characters in the street, parades, marching bands add so much to the experience.  Some is educational, some is pure fun.  The second day in the Magic Kingdom brought back so much of my childhood when Mickey, Minnie, Donald and Goofy were the only characters we knew.  Music, laughs, and stories come to life.  It all lifts the spirit and leaves you looking for more.

     It happened to be the week of the Boston Marathon bombings.  Many people from the northeast had the incident in the back of their minds.  It reminded us that it is important to have experiences that are fun-filled and happy.  It is important to create memories that will last a life time, and that time spent with family will never be forgotten.  My kids had a wonderful time, and my husband and I enjoyed seeing Disney through their eyes.  For one glorious week, the world around us was totally happy.