Every year, thousands of high school seniors prepare to go to their prom.  There is another group of seniors also planning to attend the prom this year,  the Hillhouse High school Class of 1943 in New Haven, CT.   Deferred due to the war, this class never had the experience of attending the annual school dance.  A group got together and decided after 70 years, the time had come to celebrate the rite of passage.

     I loved this story.  It was heartwarming, touching, and humorous.  It brought out an understanding that no matter how many years pass, how many experiences we have, how much happiness or sorrow we experience, we remain young at heart.  Wouldn’t it be great if the news was like this every night.  Enjoy.

http://youtu.be/IWVk2dEb0hs

]]> http://simplesensibilities.com/2013/05/17/going-to-the-prom/feed/ 0 http://simplesensibilities.com/2013/05/13/life-on-a-2-inch-screen/ http://simplesensibilities.com/2013/05/13/life-on-a-2-inch-screen/#comments Mon, 13 May 2013 21:05:37 +0000 simplesensibilities http://simplesensibilities.localonlinenews.tv/?p=2390 Continue reading →]]>      In my last post, I described my visit to Disney World.   One of the points I didn’t mentioned was before every show, an announcement was made that no recording or flash photography could take place during the performance.  It was music to my ears.  It seems in the past few years, everyone is recording every event that occurs in their lives.  This all started with the invention of the video camera.  Now with cell phones, iPads, YouTube and other social media, the world has become one giant movie.

     We waited for the parade in the Magic Kingdom one afternoon during our trip.  People were polite and courteous while standing along the road.  When the parade reached our area, a women standing next to me kept sticking her elbow in my side.  She had her iPad up in the air in order to record the whole parade.  In my passive aggressive way I refused to move over.  I’m sure she didn’t appreciate the clapping and calling out  of the names of characters as they went by, but I didn’t care.  I was enjoying the moment with my kids and wasn’t going to stifle my fun for someone documenting their entire day.

     Before we had kids, and had two incomes, my husband and I went on a cruise to Alaska.  The only way to get from location to location is by boat or air since the state does not have many roads of connection.  We noticed that while the boat was moving, the crowds were nowhere to be seen.  It was us and about 12 other people wearing parkas observing the wonderful landscape.  When the boat stopped, the people came out of the casino, the pools, and the food and play areas, and took sudden interest in the sites.  At the time video cameras were the means of recording, and they came out in force.  Tripods were set up, people jockeyed for the best position, and it was taped for remembrance.  When the show was over, the people disappeared.  My husband commented that that those people were experiencing Alaska through a 2 inch screen.

     I often wonder what children think when their parents tell them what to do for the camera.  Many times they want a reenactment of something a child did spontaneously. They tell them not only what to do or say, but how to do it.  Most kids I know don’t repeat what you want them to do when asked.  This causes many parents to become exasperated because they can’t capture that precious moment.  Maybe these kids are onto something.  I remember a movie called Truman starring Jim Carrey.  Unbeknownst to Truman, his whole life was being monitored, and a live feed was blasted across televisions nationwide.  Everything around him was set-up to provide the drama.  People, buildings, and events, were planned to create a kind of documentary reality show.  When Truman found out, he walked out and said goodbye.

     I have a video camera.  I film my kids a few times a year.  Most of it takes place the backyard, or the house of mine and other family members.  I don’t feel like I can fully experience what is going on around me if I have to keep focus through a screen.  So much time during the total happening is lost.  I know I am old school, but I prefer still photography.  There is something captured in a moment that I find quite satisfying.  A facial expression, the time of day, the surroundings, the people grouped together, the memory of time and place.  It is nice to have some photos and videos as remembrance, but the best movie of all is the one that plays out in our heads.  The memories we hold of loved ones, events, and life in general.  My grandmother said it best.  Once at a wedding, she couldn’t get over the number of photos that were being taken.  She commented…”All these pictures.  You only need one.”  How right she was.

     A few weeks ago, during the April school break, my family went to Disney World.   Many families we know have already been, some multiple times.   For us the timing never seemed to be right, and we wanted to wait until both of our girls were old enough to handle the whole experience.  This year the schedules lined up, and we went.  I have never been before and didn’t really know what to expect.  I now understand why they call it the happiest place on earth.

   I booked the plane tickets last summer.  Flying out of the northeast during spring break made this essential.  We decided not to stay in the park.  I know, I know….people say this is a mistake but we had our reasons.  First, my youngest daughter has an internal alarm clock which wakes her up at 6 A.M. no matter how late she stays up the night before.  I knew there was no way we would be up until 10:30 to see fireworks.  Second, the cost of the trip drops significantly by staying outside the park.  I got a great deal through Costco for lodging, tickets to the park, and a car.  We had a 2 bath, 2 bedroom timeshare, with a kitchen, laundry, pools, and other activities.  We were close to the parks, but came home every day to peace and quiet.

     I didn’t plan for the entire year as so many say you have to do.  We decided what we definitely wanted to do, and what we could skip, but I didn’t have an itinerary for every minute. We also decided we could live without character meals and princess spas.  My days of be anxious and worried are over.  We didn’t find it hard to get around, or have the time to do what we wanted.  I think you actually have more fun if you aren’t so worked up about where you need to be. I am also glad that my kids were not so young as to become overly tired, and overwhelmed with the crowd, the volume at the shows, the walking, and the heat.

    We went to the parks 4 days.  We went once to Hollywood Studios, twice to the Magic Kingdom, and once to Animal Kingdom.  We decided Epcot will be visited on a future trip. Going to Disney provides a great opportunity for observing human behavior.  They have crowd control down to a science. Parking lots are not filled with people trying to find the nearest spot.  You drive in and they have you park in an orderly manner.  No choice, no stopping, pull in, get out, and walk to the tram.  Lines for rides and shows have wait times posted.  If you decide to wait, you walk along the maze.  The fact that it keeps moving makes you feel like you are getting somewhere which eliminates the frustration many feel in traffic jams.  The staff is friendly and helpful.  Everyone is smiling which is infectious.  Imagine having pleasant conversations with strangers all day.  Imagine how society could benefit from that.

     The rides are what most people talk about, but the exhibits, shows, characters in the street, parades, marching bands add so much to the experience.  Some is educational, some is pure fun.  The second day in the Magic Kingdom brought back so much of my childhood when Mickey, Minnie, Donald and Goofy were the only characters we knew.  Music, laughs, and stories come to life.  It all lifts the spirit and leaves you looking for more.

     It happened to be the week of the Boston Marathon bombings.  Many people from the northeast had the incident in the back of their minds.  It reminded us that it is important to have experiences that are fun-filled and happy.  It is important to create memories that will last a life time, and that time spent with family will never be forgotten.  My kids had a wonderful time, and my husband and I enjoyed seeing Disney through their eyes.  For one glorious week, the world around us was totally happy.

     I didn’t go when the throngs of media and people offering their condolences ascended on the streets of a small intersection.  Having once lived in the area, I knew that the scene would be overwhelming.  Instead I chose to pray, offer a financial donation, and deal with the heartache and disbelief that carries on to this day.  A few weeks later, when the reporters and crowds left town, I took my girls to the place they have been getting their haircut for years, Fun Kuts.   Marci, the owner and her staff are wonderful, caring, and great with kids.  Afterwards, we went to The Toy Tree which is next door.   Even though it was early afternoon, the area seemed eerily quiet.

     Last Friday, I returned to The Toy Tree to purchase the gift, and bought more than I had intended.  It is a wonderful store with many items not found in big box toy stores.  I knew my girls would like what I purchased, and I felt it was a small way to help the owner.  Leaving the store, I noticed that the street wasn’t lined with parked cars as in the past, and once again, that quietness was there.  Much to my dismay, the coffee shop around the corner had closed.  This was another business that I had frequented over the years.  Was I imagining it, or are people staying away?

     When the shooting first happened, swarms of people and media flooded the streets of Newtown.  People and reporters from far and wide blocked the roads and sidewalks. So many individuals expressed publicly their concern in the immediate aftermath, but how many have returned to show support?   The businesses suffered a loss which the state is attempting to make up to them.  What the businesses in Sandy Hook, and town of Newtown on a whole need, is for the residents of surrounding towns to shop in their stores, and eat in their restaurants.  There is no reason to stay away.  Actions speak louder than words.

   This is not a call for the streets to be overwhelmed with visitors, rather a day-to-day flow of traffic that will help these businesses keep their doors open.  The owners dealt with the crowds and visitors in a caring and respectful manner.  They have passed on messages and items to the families, and have remained strong.  Newtown as a whole has handled the tragedy with a spirit of strength, dignity, compassion, and love.   We need to let them know that they have our support, admiration, and a place in our hearts that will never go away.  Your presence will let them know.

     The cashier and the bagger were both under the age of 20.  With me standing right there, they did nothing but complain about how many hours they had to work, their schedule for the week, when they were going to finally get their break, and what the managers were doing to them.  I wanted to say something, but really did know what.  Mostly I wanted to know why they applied for full-time hours if they didn’t want to work 8 hours a day.  Also, what made them think it appropriate to have this type of conversation in the presence of a customer?

     I usually shop for food around 9 to 10 A.M.   Parking lots aren’t crowded, lines are shorter, and I prefer to do this early in the day.  The staff tends to be made up mostly of adult workers.  Most are kind and friendly.  There are some that are much older than me.  I often wonder if some are working to make ends meet.  Regardless, they are efficient, smile, and go about the business of serving the customer.  They might move a little slower, but they have the strong work ethic that I remember being instilled as I was growing up.  My grandparents worked much longer hours, in less desirable conditions, in order to survive.

     I am not throwing all young people under the bus.  There are many places, including this store, where the young people are incredibly polite and helpful.  There are others though who need to learn that working is not easy.  Every job can have long hours, difficulties, and a tough schedule.  Every type comes with challenges and periods of exhaustion.  The satisfaction comes from the knowledge of a job well-done, of contributing to society, and working for your pay.  Much that can be learned from people who have worked for many, many, years and still know how to smile.

    Local newspapers provide the community with information regarding schools, town government, religious, and social happenings.  They allow for in-depth reporting.  I acquire most information on local issues in this manner.  Social media and local internet sites provide some content, but it has yet to match the detail in the newspaper.  It is also presented in a timely manner so there are no last minute surprises regarding issues or items that need addressing.

   National and international stories are also included in the daily postings.  Television and the internet usually focus on the major issues of the day.  The newspaper is able to devote more time and space to stories that aren’t on the front burner.  I find it interesting and educational when I discover a new issue, place, or happening.  I can’t get all of that in one place on the computer.  On a day when I don’t get an opportunity to read the paper, I get an uneasy feeling that I might have missed something.

   The issue of accuracy of reporting also comes into play.  There have been many instances of false information being disseminated in an effort to be first.  “Exclusive” and “Breaking” are terms television news shows use often.  They say this as a method of punctuating the fact that they know something others don’t.  There have been many instances when the rush to be first led to the reporting of misinformation.  The newspaper doesn’t have the luxury of being first.  As a result, by the time the story is in print, most of the details have been examined and reported as fact.  There are times when a retraction or correction is required, but the overall track record is acceptable in terms of giving us the right information.

   More and more, newspapers are downsizing both physically and literally.  Some have gone completely over to a digital format.  Downward sales are blamed for the change.  Young people gravitate to interactive media and many never open a newspaper.   I don’t want to see a total demise in my lifetime.  I want to be able to read it while waiting in an office, at a coffeehouse, or on the train.   I want to enjoy the 20 minutes of quiet time as I eat lunch and catch up on the day.  I hope I will always be able to walk down the drive in the morning, and pick up that daily paper.  I wouldn’t want to start my day without it.

     My husband has an older version of the same model.  I know how to operate his remote.  One click unlocks the driver’s side; two opens all the other doors.  With newer models come changes.  Mine is the same except there is a different button to open the rear hatch.  Approaching the car with a load of groceries becomes a comedy of errors.  Beep, Beep, Beep…what did I just open?  Is the back open?  Maybe I touched the wrong button.  Ok, got it open, put the groceries in, close the door.  Now get in to drive.  The door is locked.  Ugh…now push another button.  By now people probably think I am breaking in.

     The other issue is that it is extremely sensitive.  Lean on it, beep. Drop it on the ground or somewhere in the car, beep.  The lights start flashing on and off.  This causes me to start talking, out loud, to the car.  So far this has only taken place in my driveway so I have not created the spectacle of a person talking to themselves.

     I have one question.   Why did they have to change what already worked so well?  Maybe my lack of experience is the problem.  It makes me think about other remote controls.  How many of those buttons on televisions, DVD players, and cable boxes do we actually use?  Do we even know that most of them do?  If you read the manuals that come with these devices, it’s like looking at a foreign language.

     I sure at some point using this remote will become second nature, and the beeping will become less.  I am happy with my purchase.  It is comfortable and has working heat and air.  The drive is smoother and quieter.  I adjusted to all the other features in no time and do not miss my old one at all.  Change happens all the time, and technology is making these changes occur more frequently.  It seems not so long ago when we actually had to roll down the windows.  I don’t think I’ll wait another 15 years before I buy another new car.  I might not be able to open the doors.

     The past few months have produced numerous debates on our constitutional rights.  Part of the discussion revolves around the idea of privacy.  This is somewhat puzzling as there are many instances in this country where identification and checks involving personal information is required.  We accept these requirements as a means to obtaining our goal.  We don’t cry that it violates our rights.  We understand the necessity of proving our identity, and other information for a variety of everyday activity.  Somehow this has been forgotten.

   We need a photo I.D. to get on a plane, enter certain establishments, organizations and events, purchase alcohol, and do many financial transactions.  We need to present it when we vote which is also a constitutional right.  There has been some protest regarding these issues, but nothing that has caused a large national outcry.

     When we apply for a credit card, loan, or mortgage, our entire credit history is researched and analyzed.  Every dime we borrowed is scrutinized and evaluated in determining if we are eligible for the type of credit for which we are applying.  We accept the consequences of our past actions, and understand that banks and lending institutions have the right to obtain this information.

     If we purchase or sell a home, it becomes a matter of public record and often the transaction is printed in local newspapers.  Personally I don’t like the idea that a person’s name and address, as well as the amount of money involved is made available, but the paper has the right to report it.  In my newspaper they even print divorces.  That seems over the top in terms of needing to know, but it is allowed.

     When we get on a plane, we have to produce I.D. as stated above, and go through security. Our bags and self are scanned for anything suspicious.  There have been cases of TSA officials going too far, but after 9/11, most people favor these measures as a means of providing steps to insure our safety.  The masses aren’t screaming about their rights.

     When I registered my kids for school, I had to bring along the deed to my home to prove my place of residency.  Due to current events, I now have to produce I.D. to any school personnel who make a request.  Everyone understands the necessity of these new procedures without question.

     Many places of business, education, and health, require fingerprinting, drug tests, and background checks.  If you want the job you will comply.  Applications ask if you have ever committed a crime.  I’m sure most individuals would not want to submit such information, but it is all part of the hiring process. Some jobs require testing in order to obtain a license rendering them competent in their field.  Fail the test and you don’t get the license.  If you don’t have a license, you can’t have the job.

     However, there are places in this country where an individual can purchase a gun with nothing more than a simple permit.  They don’t have to pass a test. They don’t need a license.  The seller doesn’t need to conduct a background check.  There are so many other instances in which we subject ourselves to checks, tests, licensing, and identification.  Why does this issue suddenly violate our rights?  If gun advocates want to prove that owners of guns are responsible and trained, they should be out in full support of universal background checks.  It is a requirement that should be upheld and fulfilled. It is a responsibility that must come along with a right.

Support the Cause. Take the Sandy Hook promise. http://causes.com/sandyhookpromise

     Yesterday I woke up with a terrible migraine.  Anyone who suffers from these knows the feeling of pain, sensitivity to light and sound, nausea, and tiredness.  After I got my kids on the bus, I fell asleep on the couch.  When I woke 2 hours later, I still didn’t feel like moving.  It’s like having a late night without any of the fun.  With the remote in reach, I turned on the television.  After the morning news, I rarely watch anything on the tube, so I began channel surfing.  When I landed on QVC, I took a moment to see what they were selling.  The item up for sale was a mattress.  Having just had a bad morning, it immediately caught my interest.

     In 4 easy payments (easy…. really..what does that mean?) adding up to less than $500.00; I could have a memory foam mattress endorsed by a certified chiropractor.  It looked soft and comfortable. It would solve all my sleep issues and never lose its shape.  For a fraction of the cost of a well-known national brand, it could be mine.  Oh did they lure me in.  I was so tempted.  Then I remembered that my current mattress is only 3 years old and was made by a nearby mattress company.

     Years ago I visited my grandmother and her sister, Aunt Mary, for a week.  Aunt Mary loved contests and had been the big winner on more than one occasion.  She wanted to know if I wanted some jewelry she bought from the Home Shopping Network.  It had “real” diamonds, about the size you find on a drill bit, but they were real.  She went on to tell me that the woman on the other end of the phone knew her when she called.  Being elderly, I didn’t have the heart to tell her that the woman knew everyone.  She never spent a lot of money on these items so it was harmless.  What stood out was how these marketers are able to sell, and how good they are at attracting customers.  They know how to appeal to the senses and have a way of making you feel like you need their product.  I give them credit for salesmanship, a skill I never possessed.

     I was never able to sell anything.  Fundraisers for school, the YMCA, girl scouts, and other organizations never made much from my sales.  Candy bars, wrapping paper, cookies, and other items were products I couldn’t promote.  It is an art and a skill that few possess, and many give into.  I can see a sale coming a mile away.  I don’t like the hard sell, and am put off as soon as it starts.  Yesterday, in a moment of weakness, I almost bought a mattress.  Oh, but it was so comfortable, cool, soft, offers support………click went the remote.  I feel better today.  So does my wallet.

     Years ago I lived in a condo complex.  We had a storm that dumped quite a bit of snow in one big wallop. The wind made huge drifts against the cars in my section.  As if that wasn’t enough, the plow packed it up against vehicles building a wall of snow and ice.  Although I had a shovel, I didn’t have the physical strength at the time to dig myself out.  When the storm ended, everyone ventured out of their units to begin the cleanup.  Someone asked to borrow my shovel so that he could clear out his and his wife’s car.  After he was finished, without my asking, he cleared away the snow around mine.  In return, I cleaned the snow off about a dozen cars.  People were smiling, happy, telling jokes, and enjoying the satisfaction of helping others.

     That experience has stayed with me and I have retold the story many times.  I was so grateful for people, in a situation of inconvenience, being there to help.  This week, I saw the same story played out many times on the news.  People in several communities worked together to dig out neighbors, the elderly, schools, and numerous cars. Imagine what could be accomplished if people found a way to help each other on regular basis.

     We live in a world of instantaneous results.  We have forgotten to wait our turn, help our neighbor, and just plain talk to people.  A kind word and a helping hand can go a long way in the emotional well-being of so many.  Something as basic as the use of a shovel can create a great feeling of accomplishment.  Having to wait for the guy who has been plowing for hours, make us appreciate him even more when he arrives on our street or at our home.  In one report, a young man in New Haven, CT, who had been shoveling a good part of the day commented, “It’s all about community.”  How true.  There is no app for that.

Footnote:  I don’t own a phone with apps so I may be wrong in my listings.  I’m sure someone will let me know differently if I am.  : )   Thanks.  Angela